Is Bigger Really Better?
Over the last few years I’ve noticed a growing fascination in the business community with “bigger.”
Growing a mailing list of 10,000, 50,000 or even 100,000 followers.
Amassing hundreds and thousands of clients.
Achieving a million (or even a billion) dollars in revenue.
Conquering a niche.
But is bigger really better?
Have you ever stopped to wonder what the cost for achieving bigger is?
What you might have to give up?
What bigger problems you have to deal with?
What your lifestyle will be like (and if you really want it?)
What kind of team or operations you need to pull it off?
How much money it takes (and probably debt too?)
In my 9+ years of coaching entrepreneurs I’ve found that some people will purse their big goals with determination and vigor – like a sword slicing through the jungle – with little worry of the consequences.
Along the way their families, friends, values, and hobbies are cast aside in this limitless pursuit of bigger.
Most of the time they wake up at some point and say…”How Did I Get Here? Why are my kids all grown up and I don’t know them? I haven’t been on a vacation in five years but yet, I’m supposed to be free from a J.O.B.”
For others, the fear of losing something (time, money, people, their identity, etc.) becomes a deterrent to their emerging dream. They are left feeling paralyzed, unmotivated, blocked, stuck, or de-energized, all of which keeps them from playing a bigger game. On some level they rationalize that they’ve achieved enough – even though there is something deep inside calling them forward.
So the question becomes….how big is big ENOUGH?
How do you know you have arrived at the level of “big” that allows you to feel internally satisfied without having to lose what’s important along the way?
I’d like to share with you three different techniques for finding the right level of “big” for you:
1. Suffering
Suffering is the ass-backwards approach — and the one most of us take. As head-strong entrepreneurs we take on our goals at lightening speed, put our head to the grindstone and barrel through the challenges. Some day years later we pick up our head and say, “Ouch.” We land somewhere between bummed and down right depressed with what it cost us to get to bigger.
Most human beings are wired to solve pain more than we pursue pleasure. It’s the boiled frog concept – if we slowly turn up the heat to an unbearable level we just accept it. Then one day reality strikes, pain sets in, and we try to recover what we most wanted to begin with.
Let’s explore the two more effective techniques now.
2. Modeling
No, I don’t mean getting on the cover of Vogue. Modeling is a technique where you identify with someone who seems to have a business you want, then you investigate who they have to be in order to achieve it. When I teach this technique to my clients, it’s pretty in-depth – you have to learn the mindset, habits, skills and environment they create in order to sustain their success.
For instance, if you have a dream to be a world famous expert who conducts trainings all over the world, has countless books and is worth millions, then you’d want to model someone like Tony Robbins. You find out everything about the way they operate — the good AND the bad — then determine if you are willing to have a similar outcome.
3. Vision Alignment
Creating a vision alignment is one of the most powerful techniques you can ever learn. A vision can only be achieved when it is in alignment with your Truth. One of the exercises I give to every person I coach in my Fast Track to 6 Figure Lifestyle Business is to get crystal clear on their Truth – what their core values are, their real priorities in life right now and what the criteria for success means to them.
Believe it or not, more goals are ditched because of the tension from being unaligned. To know how big to grow, we simply look to our Truth – what will it look like so we can enjoy your values, priorities and magic? If you are unaligned in any way, you will sabotage, procrastinate or shelf your big dream.
Which of these approaches are you taking to accomplish BIG? What have you discovered along your journey – where you allow suffering to guide you vs. using one of the two techniques to plan for the right level of big?
I’ll look forward to hearing your comments below!
Melanie Benson Strick, the Big Idea Catalyst, helps thought leaders uncover the biggest way to unleash their brilliance without losing their sanity or their soul. With over 12 years in corporate America and eight years as a business owner, Melanie works exclusively with big thinking, heart-based entrepreneurs who are frustrated trying to run a successful business. Co-author of Entrepreneur.com’s “Start Up Guide to an Information Marketing Business” and faculty member for StomperNet, Melanie has a solid reputation for authentic but direct training and mentoring on 6 figure plus business success.
14 comments
Mel: I like this article. I used to be caught up in the following, modeling and trying to keep up with the other entrepreneurs that appeared to be getting bigger, more wealthy, more popular etc. But then I found out the truth about that whole lifestyle and saw behind the curtain. I saw that only a small percentage 1 % are actually making 7 figures consistently and the price I see of those that are chasing it is not that pretty! Yes they may have some extra money to buy nice clothes, travel to exotic places and fly first class, however their relationships and family suffers, they work 20 hours a day, have high anxiety about keeping all the balls in the air and are obsessed with checking their email and social networking sites.
As far as my own personal story and experience with this, my life changed when my parents both passed away within a year and a half and I could no longer run my life and business as I had been, the trauma of this situation in my life forced me to slow down, focus on taking good care of myself and taught me what was important and what was not! Many entrepreneurs had told me I should run my business a certain way and I was not willing, nor could I do it the way they had suggested any more. I have found my own unique way the past 2 years and am much happier and much more successful at the level that works for me! I am taking good care of myself, taking vacations, working less hours, enjoying my loving relationships with myself and others. Be careful who and what you follow! Focus inward and listen to your heart and intuition and follow your faith.
Thanks Mel you are the greatest! You always listened and you help people be their best selves by your example of being human. Love ya!
Thanks Cindy for sharing your own story about Bigger & Better. I think a lot of people feel the same way — I know I do. I’m constantly balancing am I willing to invest my time, money and energy away from (whatever is important) to tackle this big opportunity? Sometimes yes…but more and more often…no. =-)
P.S. Sometimes it’s not as much fun to be human by the way…but I guess I don’t know any other way. LOL.
Hi Mel-
I read this week’s article with interest because I have noticed the same interesting trend you have.
It wasn’t until I realized I’m in my business for the LIFESTYLE that I finally decided it was ok to breathe and look up (and yes, say ouch!).
I’m so grateful to have built a business that allows me to make the money I need and want while also being active in my little girls’ lives. Being “Room Mom” for preschool, volunteering with the 2nd grade reading program, and taking every morning off in the summers to go to the pool are some examples of the things I can do because I’ve built my business around my life instead of around chasing ever more.
I run a lean operation with me, a VA or two, and a few cherished outsourcers, and that’s really about it. And I like it that way.
Someday, maybe in another season of my life, I’ll be ready for bigger & more, More, MORE! But for now, I’m quite content doing what I love, getting paid (well!) for it, and living life on my own terms.
Of course your coaching reminded me of all that and helped me to focus & stay clear on that.
Hugs, my friend,
Felicia Slattery
What a great example Felicia…and so glad you shared it. I love being surrounded by people who recognize that big enough is when you have time and space for what’s important in your life FIRST and your business has been built to support THAT vision.
Sometimes it helps to remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day…and actually happened over thousands of years. Maybe it’s OK to set our sites on bigger at a different stage of our life.
AWESOME Article! That is EXACTLY where I am at! I keep hearing, “Do this, do that…” but I don’t think people see the bigger picture. I have tried #1 and #2 and now I am going for #3. Looking at the bigger picture with the end in mind, so when I get there, I want to be there.
Right now though because of all the “hard” ways I have the “paralyzed, unmotivated, blocked, stuck, or de-energized, all of which keeps them from playing a bigger game.” feelings. But just like you talked about I know I am supposed to be doing something bigger.
So here’s to that discovery! Thanks Mel for the reminder!
Susan, you are going to be so excited with the outcome from your Fast Track program and knowing that EVERYTHING you are focusing on right now is setting you up to have #3 aced!
Getting un-paralyzed with clarity and focused action is so rewarding. thanks for sharing your experience with it too!
Whew, awesome article Mel!
I just love your authenticity and focus on being REAL! It’s exactly what we all need… to stop pretending and lying to ourselves and others.
I think one of the most powerful miracles within our current economic crisis and the struggles and challenges it’s bringing for so many is the opportunity for us to step back and reevaluate what’s really important in our own lives.
It’s so easy to get caught up in all the hype and blindly following those who we “think” have it all together.
I learned this lesson years ago when facing my own personal struggle of battling stage 4 melanoma. Was a really scary time, and yet one of the most profound in terms of gaining clearity around what’s really important in terms of redefining my values and priorities.
http://MyBattleWithCancer.com
Bottom line, I think it’s time for us to get real, to share ourselves authentically and to reconnect with our passions and purpose.
It’s important to realize how delicate and precious life really is. Our lives are a gift from God that should be appreciated, nurtured, and cherished. If we learn to live each day as if it were our last, taking the time to appreciate our many blessing and truly enjoying the moment. As we do, we will discover the miraculous.
Sending you all lots of love and positive energy!
t
Hi Travis, so glad you commented and shared your own story. Interesting how for some of us it takes that Universal 2×4 whack upside the head to get us to get real about our priorities!
So glad to have you as a friend and collaborator on this journey to Gettin Real in business and life.
THANK YOU!! Just yesterday I wrote out a new goal and turned to my daughter and said, “Honey your job is to ask me ‘Do you really want to _____________________ and _______________.’ off of this goal sheet, and my job is to answer “Yes, but…” and see if I have any internal conflict about it all by just rattling off what comes to mind.
Immediately in response to these big dreams I started crying and answering truthfully all the reasons I just want to embrace simplicity.
Poor Kristan just looked at me with big eyes and said, “I don’t like this game!” LOL
Anyway – despite the fact that a certain gooroo at a certain “millionaire mind” retreat pounded on and on about the horrors of being “comfortable,” the fact is that I love my life!
What is the greatest gain in this life? I’m not sure, but I know one ancient all time best-seller says it this way, “Godliness with contentment is GREAT gain.”
Thanks,
Gina
OK, I had to completely LAUGH OUT LOUD with Kristan’s comment “I don’t like this game.” You are so amazing! You know there is a BIG difference between being comfortable and creating a lifestyle that you love.
I think the difference is that many of us play small by NOT pursuing our true calling. I don’t remember reading in the rule books that it means having to be stressed, not having time for what’s important and hating what we do in our career because we are always overwhelmed.
As a matter of fact, if you were to model this certain “guru” you would find that there is really not much personal happiness and a lot of canned stage stories to do a good job of selling you on something that is not congruent with the teacher (alignment with core values that is.)
Thanks so much for sharing your story here… it put a big smile on my face today.
I’m a big believer in modeling and vision. I have nothing against doing things big, as that excites me and pulls me forward. But not just for the sake of big, because it’s about doing something to the best of my abilities.
-RG
Randy, I love that you added “I have nothing against doing this big”.
I thought a lot about my post and I really dont’ want anyone to think I’m against big. What I want for people is to be happy in their business and enjoy their life — while pursuing their dreams.
When people give up important parts of their life in the pursuit of big just to conquer the world, that’s when I wonder if it is really serving them.
Just a provocative idea…
Thanks for sharing your thoughts too!
Melanie, loved the article. Spot on and undeniable truth.
Like others, for a while I got caught up in the following of “wealth mentors” without ever asking myself what I truly wanted and what impact I really wanted to have through my business.
Just before the FastTrack program, I was re-engaging with my own passions and began to realign with who I truly was and what I wanted to bring into this world vs just listening to others tell me what I *should* want. Money is not the goal at all. It’s what I want to create with the money and the philanthropic visions that keep me stirred and excited.
The FastTrack program got me crystal clear that one thing is more important to me than any other: Simplicity. I like being at home with my kids and I have to make sure I stay in alignment with the simple, enjoyable yet successful life I’d like to keep.
The good news is that wealth and simplicity aren’t necessarily in conflict. It’s really just knowing how you want to create the experiences you truly want for your life and business. S-t-r-e-t-c-h, yes, but stress, no.
As you just said, “not playing small” doesn’t mean you have to step into a stressful complicated lifestyle.
Simplicity is my truth. Thank you Melanie for being a huge part of how I clearly I see my future and my calling. You have given me such clarity and the tools to ensure that I stay in true alignment with what I was called to do in this world. Your “Ultimate Success Generator” rocks!!! And your coaching… all I can say is… wow!
Allison, I so appreciate you chiming in to share your own insights around balancing how BIG you become with what’s important. I’m beyond thrilled re: the clarity you are receiving through the Fast Track to 6 Figure Lifestyle Business program. It makes my day!